Pregnant 18-year-old coworker demands new mom gives her hand-me-downs from her 2-month-old, freaks out when she refuses: 'She's been saying I'm hoping she loses her baby'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 30, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Raising a kid is usually more than a one person job, and one of the most important things that a parent can have access to is people who are happy to help them out now and then. 'The village' is a concept that many moms and dads swear by, but it isn't always easy to find—and in many cases, it is easily exploited as well.

This is an issue that one young mom recently found herself dealing with in the workplace when her colleague and mom-to-be made a demand of her. The pregnant coworker wanted to be given the hand-me-downs from her 2-month-old baby, which she refused to do as she expected that she and her husband would use these items for a second child in the future. The situation only deteriorated from there, leading the new mom to wonder if she had actually been unreasonable in her response. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10448589312
    via Unsplash+ (Pablo Merchán Montes)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH because I'm not giving baby stuff to a pregnant coworker?
    via Feathers137
  • 03
    I (20F) recently had a beautiful baby girl. I just returned to work after taking two months of maternity leave and found out one of my coworkers (18F) found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago. I congratulated her and then she asked me if I would give her all the baby stuff we'll have stopped using by the time her baby is born. I told her no and she absolutely freaked out on me.
    via Feathers137
  • 04
    One of the points she made is how it's super unfair because most of our coworkers are past the point of having kids/grandkids and gave husband and I a lot of their old baby stuff and now there's nothing left for her so I should share. I told her that's not how it works and most of these people consider husband and I family because Mil has worked with them for 5+ years, and we've been working here for a long while as well, compared to her three months (and from what I've heard, she doesn't come i
    via Feathers137
  • 05
    I also explained that we're planning on having at least one more kid, maybe two, so we want to keep everything we can and keep it in storage until it's needed later vs. buying it all brand new. She said that she needs them now and that's more important than a hypothetical kid we might have. I took offense to that and told her that I said no, she won't change my mind, and walked away.
    via Feathers137
  • 06
    Edit: we do not have an HR and when I brought it up to our supervisor I was told to just ignore it and that as long as I don't let it mess with my work I'm in the clear. They did say they noted the incident but I doubt she'll see any repercussions
    via Feathers137

    It seems like the pregnant mom was placing expectations on her coworker that had come from nowhere. Even if the rest of their colleagues had already given her fellow young mom secondhand baby items, she didn't know if she wanted to use them more than once. Also, it is clear that woman refusing to give her stuff away also had a vastly different relationship to the company that they worked at.

  • 07
    StephaniefromRal She sounds like the type who would sell donated items on Facebook.
    via StephaniefromRal
  • 08
    xFluffyBloom I agree. She seems like she'd take advantage of anything given to her without any real gratitude.
    via xFluffyBloom
  • 09
    Prize-Bumblebee-2192 ΝΤΑ The audacity and entitlement are astounding. You bought the stuff for your babie(s). Her demanding you give her items that you'll use in the future is outrageous. And talking about you for this 'egregious offense'? I'm embarrassed for her.
    via Prize-Bumblebee-2192
  • 10
    trolleydip nta The only ah move here was to think that she would be rational after she refused to accept no as an answer. Logic, and the truth?! You could have told her that the clothing was already with a family friend who was pregnant, or that you are preserving each piece of clothing in a safety deposit box for your future grandchildren to inherit. She is owed no explanation to how you use the clothing that was given to you.
    via trolleydip
  • 11
    srobbinsart This. We regularly hand off used kid clothes and toys to family friends and family because we love and trust them, and want to do nice things for them.
    via srobbinsart
  • 12
    Smokkinnj That girl is batshit crazy. She shouldn't be having a baby if she's begging for handouts. Talk to HR asap. This could escalate.
    via Smokkinnj
  • 13
    Only Music 2640 I wouldn't worry about any of it. She'll probably get fired long before it's even time for her baby shower. She's not exactly employee of the month material from what you've described and doesn't appear to be mentally stable either.
    via Only_Music_2640
  • 14
    MidnightPositive485 NTA. I loaned a few larger items to a coworker between my two kids because she claimed she really needed them and would give them back. She quit, disappeared with my stuff and blocked me when I tried to get it back. I had to rebuy everything for my second and it cost me a bunch of money I didn't really have. Don't give in.
    via MidnightPositive485
  • 15
    Most-Brick-660 NTA. You're under no obligation to give away your baby items, especially when you've explained that you plan to use them for future children. Your coworker is acting entitled and unreasonably, especially considering she barely knows you and has only worked there for three months. Her badmouthing and spreading false accusations about you is completely out of line. It's great that your coworkers see through it, but her behavior is toxic. You've already been generous by acknowledging
    via Most-Brick-660
  • 16
    Dull Weakness 1658 NTA. Maybe inform HR so you cannot be accused of creating a hostile work environment. The coworker sounds a bit nutty, so it is impossible to know what she is capable of.
    via Dull_Weakness1658
  • 17
    hotshotzss2 Her situation doesn't entitle her to OP's things. OP made a reasonable decision to save the items for your her kids, and her behavior is unprofessional and inappropriate.
    via hotshotzss2
  • 18
    Repulsive-Ad8821 Send an e mail to your supervisor to let them know what is going on and ask for assistance resolving your problem. A verbal conversation means nothing. It never happened
    via Repulsive-Ad8821
  • 19
    teenbunnysx Girl, no ?! She's acting like she's entitled to your baby stuff just because she's pregnant? And the "hypothetical baby" comment? Major yikes. NTA. Also, saying you hope she loses her baby is straight-up evil. She needs to grow up.
    via teenbunnysx
  • 20
    Hefty-Equivalent6581 NTA She probably can't afford anything and thinks it's ok to demand this stuff, she's very young and immature and isn't even taking her brand new job seriously. She should not be having a kid. Tell her to knock it off and tell HR she is causing a problem at work and they need to address it with her, not note the file.
    via Hefty-Equivalent6581
  • 21
    Fredredphooey NTA. It's illegal to create a hostile work environment and telling nasty lies about you qualifies. Tell your coworker that lying and painting you as a monster is unacceptable because you won't give her (someone you barely know) hundreds of dollars of baby things. She can hate you if she wants to, but she's not allowed to try and make everyone else hate you, too, especially when it's lies.
    via Fredredphooey
  • 22
    Cali_Holly ΝΤΑ There are SO many charities that she can go to for baby stuff. Also, Facebook or any other SM where people offer stuff up for free.
    via Cali_Holly
  • 23
    Harmonia PASB FB marketplace and Craigslist have tons of baby items for cheap. I bought my friend a brand new pack-n-play for $40 and a mechanical swing for $50. She can get huge bags of baby clothes for cheap too and most baby clothes barely get worn. Flea markets are also a good option. She has options, she doesn't need to harass OP.
    via Harmonia_PASB
  • 24
    Senator_Bink If you can't afford a kid without your coworkers funding you, you can't afford a kid. NTA.
    via Senator_Bink
  • 25
    ellenkates People on my Nextdoor app are constantly offering free baby clothes toys & furniture. Point her in that direction
    via ellenkates
  • 26
    No_Plate_8028 She needs to pressure her family and the father of that child instead of a coworker. This sound absurd and crazy!
    via No_Plate_8028

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coworkers pregnant second hand argument aita maternity leave baby work parenting reddit thread Reddit mom
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